There Is A Chair Nobody Sits In

Nobody decided it.

That is the thing about that chair. There was no conversation, no arrangement, nobody said anything to anybody. It simply stopped being sat in, and everybody in that house understood, and it has been that way ever since.

And now it is doing something to the room.

Because a chair nobody sits in is not a neutral object. It is a statement in the middle of a table, and everybody eating there is eating in front of it, and all of you have got very good at not looking.

There was a moment a while ago when somebody nearly sat in it. A guest, probably, or one of the children not thinking. And the whole room moved slightly, and somebody said something, and it did not happen.

So the table has five places and four people and a piece of furniture that everybody is managing.

So let me say the first thing plainly, before anything about a kitchen.

Nothing here is going to tell you what to do with that chair.

Nobody is going to suggest putting it away, or having somebody sit in it, or any of the things people suggest who have not had one. Both of those are real options and this article is not going to pick between them, because that decision belongs to a household and not to somebody writing.

Thou shalt eat bread at my table continually

There is a moment in Second Samuel where a king gives somebody a permanent place at a table, and the word at the end of it is the one that matters.

Fear not: for I will surely shew thee kindness for Jonathan thy father's sake, and will restore thee all the land of Saul thy father; and thou shalt eat bread at my table continually. (2 Samuel 9:7, King James Version)

Thou shalt eat bread at my table continually.

Continually. Not on occasions, not when there is a reason, not as a guest who is welcome. A standing place, permanently, with no end named.

And it is given for somebody else's sake. For Jonathan thy father's sake, which means the place at that table exists because of a person who is dead, and the man sitting in it is there on the strength of a name.

You are being shown a table with an absence built into it, and a place kept for somebody has never once made the table around it a lesser table. Second Samuel 9:7 gives a permanent seat for the sake of a dead man, and the Holy Spirit is the one present with a household that has got very good at not looking.

And notice what the table goes on being.

It is still a table. People still eat at it, continually, which is the word used, and the presence of a name that belongs to somebody gone is not treated as a thing that stops the eating.

The absence and the meals are in the same room in that verse and neither one cancels the other.

You have an absence and a meal in the same room rather than one instead of the other, and a chair that belongs to somebody has never once stopped a table being a table. The Spirit of God is the one with a family eating in front of something nobody mentions, and Second Samuel 9:7 puts the dead man's name and the continual eating in one sentence.

Four people are still four people

Here is the practical half, and it is one observation about the other four.

The chair has the attention. Every meal at that table is partly about it, and the not looking is a continuous small act performed by everybody at once, and it is tiring in a way nobody has said.

Meanwhile there are four people sitting there. And they have been getting a version of you that is slightly occupied for however long it has been.

That is not a criticism. It is what a household does around a fresh absence and it is entirely right for a while. The only question is whether the while is still running because it needs to be or because nobody has looked at it.

You are allowed to look at it rather than only carry it, and a while that nobody has examined has never once been the same thing as a while that is still needed. Second Samuel 9:7 keeps a name spoken and a table in use at the same time, and the Holy Spirit is the one in that room with a household that has never discussed a chair.

You have four people at that table who have been getting a divided version, and an absence being honored has never once required the living to be half attended to. The Holy Spirit is the one with a woman doing a small continuous act at every meal, and Second Samuel 9:7 keeps the eating continual around the name it is honoring.

And here is the second half, which is the only practical suggestion in this article and it is not about the chair at all. Say the name at that table.

Not a speech. Not an occasion. One ordinary mention, in the middle of a meal, the way you would mention anybody: something they used to say, a thing they would have had an opinion about, a small remembered fact.

Because right now the chair is doing all the remembering, and it is doing it silently, and a silent memorial in the middle of a room is heavier than a spoken one. A name said out loud, once, in an ordinary voice, takes an enormous amount of weight off a piece of furniture.

You have a name that could be said out loud rather than carried by a chair, and a person mentioned in an ordinary voice has never once been honored less than a silence. Second Samuel 9:7 speaks the dead man's name aloud in the sentence that gives the seat, and the Spirit of God is the one at that table with a family who could say it.

What tonight is, at that table

So here is the assignment. Lay the table tonight and eat one meal at it with whoever is in the house.

Lay it for the people who are there. Four places, or three, or however many are home, and lay them properly, and do not lay the fifth and do not make a point of not laying it either.

And whoever is in that house tonight is enough. The rule of this site is that the table never requires the whole household, and it does not require the one who is gone either.

You are laying it for the ones who are there rather than for the ones who are not, and a table set for whoever is home has never once been a table that left anybody out. The Holy Spirit is the one in that room with however many plates go down, and Second Samuel 9:7 keeps the eating going at a table with an absence honored in it.

Then the part that does the work, and it is one instruction: say the name once during the meal. Ordinarily. Then carry on with whatever was being talked about, and do not make room for a response, because making room turns a mention into a moment and a moment is the thing everybody at that table has been bracing against for however long it has been.

One mention. Ordinary voice. Then the conversation carries on.

You are mentioning somebody rather than holding a moment, and a name said in passing has never once been the same weight as a name nobody says. Second Samuel 9:7 names Jonathan in the middle of ordinary business, and the Spirit of God is the one at that table when it gets said.